Perceptions of fatherhood: birth fathers and their adoption experiences

Abstract

Very little is known about men whose children have been given up for adoption. This thesis explores the experiences of thirty men - `birth fathers'. The findings of the thesis offer an insight in respect of another relatively unexplored subject - the factors and dynamics involved in men's perceptions of themselves as fathers. The experiences of the respondents provide a point of entry to contemporary discussions concerning fatherhood.

Information relating to the experiences, thoughts and feelings of the respondents was collected in a series of in-depth qualitative interviews. The interviews covered the period before the birth of the child and the men's experiences of the birth, the adoption and immediate post-adoption events. Data was also gathered relating to the men's thoughts about the children and the place of the adoption experience in their lives. Expectations, motivations and precipitating factors relating to a wish for contact with the adopted child were also discussed. In ten cases, where meetings had taken place with their (now adult) children, the experience of meeting and subsequent contact with a son or daughter was explored.

A central theme that emerged from the data was that the respondents' experiences of the adoption had been long lasting and felt to be detrimental. The events of the time were reported as having been impactful and to have retained an emotional salience in their subsequent lives. For a majority, their adopted child had a continued existence in their thoughts. Many of the respondents reported an ongoing sense of `connectedness' with the child - some described this as paternal in nature. It is suggested that there are some commonalities between men and women's experiences of being a birth parent. This fording invites a discussion of conventional notions of maternity and paternity.

It is argued that the data and findings from the respondents' experiences suggest that conventional notions of fatherhood are limited in that they generally refer to a father's activities with his child. The men in this study did not have experience of parenting yet many described feeling like fathers in respect of the adopted child. The thesis explores possible origins and bases of this paternal sense. The thesis suggests an expanded notion of fatherhood that would include men's self perception of fatherhood. Fatherhood may not only be viewed as something that is done but also something that may continue to exist when the father'and child are substantially apart - in the case of the respondents, the two parties had never been together.

The conclusion of thesis returns to an earlier discussion relating to the existence of negative assumptions and stereotypes regarding fathers. These appear at government, public and professional levels. The conclusion also discusses features of current postadoption research and practice and identifies'some problems of terminology that point to underlying assumptions in relation to men and women, and in respect of adopted people and birth parents. The implications for the way that we think about kinship are also discussed. Some suggestions for further research are made e.g. for a critical sociology of the birth parent experience.