Making sense of father-son estrangement

Abstract

This narrative study explores how five adult sons of varying ages make sense of their estrangement from their fathers. In semi-structured interviews, the men explained how their estrangements came about and what significance they have had in their lives. An ideographic narrative analysis reveals the diversity of the men’s stories. The accounts are then discussed with reference to the emerging estrangement literature and to understandings of narrative constructions of self based on power and agency, intimacy and separation. The study finds that recent theorising helps to illuminate some aspects of the accounts, notably the role played by physical distance, and paternal anger and indifference. However, some accounts are not well reflected in previous characterisations of parent-child estrangement; in particular the emphasis on distancing by adult children is somewhat incongruous with the narratives of paternal distancing. The study further concludes that, while the sons regret their father’s inability to connect, some construe the distance from him as an opportunity for agency and personal growth.